Picture this, stressful day at work, coming home to unwind and you see your kids screaming, toys all over the floor! Stressful, right? What if I tell you, I can give you some tips to help you develop the skill of patience, which helped me a lot throughout my fatherhood journey.
Let’s face it, the older we get the less short fused we become, so developing certain skills are crucial to be more of a role model to your children and also lead a less stressful life!
Know your triggers!
The first step of realizing your triggers are:
When you see any of the above triggers, stop and take a deep breath or take your own time out. Remember when you see your daughter testing your triggers, she is not doing this to ruin your day and if you keep your composure there’s a bigger chance your kids will not go in tantrum mode.
Think how you want to be remembered!
Ever wondered where you got some of your traits? Yep, sometimes what you see your parents doing are often replicated when you’re older!
Don’t be that parent who gets angered all the time, or sighs for every single thing when your kids do something wrong, as kids will mimic your actions. Instead, think of being a role model and when your kids make a mess, count 1 2 3 and think how can I turn this into a learning experience for both you and your kids? For example, your daughter dropped a whole plate of food on the floor, your first reaction $^%£$%^&, but no! Try and keep calm and tell your kids, everything is going to be ok and ask them to help you clean up the mess instead. Trust me kids won’t just remember how many times you changed their diaper, but the times you were there for them and show them the right way!
Reflect on your stressful moments.
We barely have time to reflect on our wrongdoings throughout the day, so the best way to reflect is when everything is slightly calmer when kids are in bed. When you identify the hard moments whilst reflecting, think of ways how you could have done it better. Self-reflection is the best way to train yourself to become a better person of yourself.
Find your de-stressing ways.
Some train, some cook and some sing in the shower! Reflect and think about what makes you calmer? One tactic I use and works, when driving from a stressful day at work, I tend to switch on my favourite music and sing my heart out in the car, yes I might look like a fool from the outside, but helps me! Also, starting an active lifestyle in the morning or in the evening can help you also be a bit more patient.
Remember your kids are not doing it on purpose!
Have you ever heard the expression don’t add fuel to the flame? This expression fits perfectly when your kids are going through a tantrum and making a bigger fuss is, even more, worse to prolong the tantrum. They are still developing self-reasoning so their only way to express their emotion is through a tantrum and the best to keep calm is to let them vent out, acknowledge and when they calmed down, give them a hug.
Fatherhood is a journey and also patience is a learning process, so don’t let yourself down as there is still time to become a better version of yourself!