Where do babies come from? A question that I am sure my daughter will ask me in a few years time and I am sure I will blank at the time she probes me with that question, but I can obviously change the subject by telling her that I was the first one to see you when you entered this world, as I was the one motivating your mother, helping her to push harder and be her rock when she needed me the most. So why are dads needed during birth?
Having witnessed a birth myself, I can say that it was one of the best moments of my life, which I will for sure cherish throughout my fatherly years, but what did I do? Was I a coach, a cheerleader or an unofficial nurse? You can say I was all three combined in one as the highlight of that episode was my wife as she was doing all the heavy lifting but being beside her from the first hour of labour until the end, was for sure a great way of showing her that I got her back and that we will go through this together!
First signs of labour:
The first signs when the contractions started, where the most crucial as it was my first time witnessing what was going on and it was happening completely different than what I read in books, so be prepared for anything. When my wife started her contractions it was around 4 am so we timed them and went to the hospital as they were close. So the first thing I did was to always distract her, by talking (Which FYI I am super good at 😂), making her laugh and trying not to show her that you’re freaking out!
At this time harder contractions start to kick in, so my job was to motivate her, don’t let her give up and calm her down during every contraction. Look at her and make her channel her breathing and tell her that she’s doing great (Just don’t do it too much as I ended getting yelled at 🤣)
Picture yourself as a punching bag and if she wants to yell at you, let her just make sure that you cover yourself with a thick shell as it can get ugly haha. Be her rock, be her support and encourage her that she’s doing great!
The best moment of your life, save your tears and please if you get squeamish don’t look at the action just be there next to her and most importantly follow the midwife’s instructions! Continue telling her to push and maybe ask the midwife how you can help out! Then when you see the head, just reassure your partner that shes nearly there and she can push harder to finish!
Your child is born:
My first impulse was to burst into tears seeing my daughter born and going next to my wife and telling her that she’s the hero of this story and that she did great! Ask the midwife if you can hold your child and start looking into their eyes and start your fatherly bond until your wife rests.
The rehabilitation phase
Your wife gave birth, you informed all the parents and families that all is well and now let your wife rest whilst you can keep an eye on your little one! She went through a lot so the best thing to do now is that you step in and show your paternal instinct.
As you can see a father is needed during each and every stage during birth and not only the second phase or any other phase, we understand that due to COVID-19 stricter measures are being done to ensure safety measures to the mothers, babies and staff, but fathers are part of this journey don’t neglect us. If you believe that a father should be part of this amazing journey together with the mothers, please pass on this message,
“We want to be part of this miracle, as we want to recount to our children what a hero their mum was during their birth and tell them all about their birth journey!”
Share this post and remind other people why a dad is needed during childbirth!